 | Mark Wahlberg als John Bennett |
 | Mila Kunis als Lori Collins |
 | Seth MacFarlane als Ted (voice) |
 | Joel McHale als Rex |
 | Giovanni Ribisi als Donny |
 | Patrick Warburton als Guy |
 | Matt Walsh als Thomas |
 | Jessica Barth als Tami-Lynn |
 | Aedin Mincks als Robert |
 | Bill Smitrovich als Frank |
 | Patrick Stewart als Narrator (voice) |
 | Norah Jones als Norah Jones |
 | Sam J. Jones als Sam Jones |
 | Tom Skerritt als Tom Skerritt |
 | Bretton Manley als Young John |
 | Ralph Garman als John's Dad |
 | Alex Borstein als John's Mom |
 | John Viener als Alix |
 | Laura Vandervoort als Tanya |
 | Robert Wu als Asian Man "Ming" |
 | Ginger Gonzaga als Gina |
 | Jessica Stroup als Tracy |
 | Melissa Ordway als Michelle |
| Max Harris als Greenbaum Kid |
| Zane Cowans als Kid #1 / Young Ted's Voice |
| T.J. Hourigan als Kid #2 |
| Owen Clarke als Kid #3 |
 | Kristina Ellery als Heavenly |
| Katelyn Lorren als Cherene |
 | Chanty Sok als Angelique |
 | Sarah Fischer als Sauvignon Blanc |
| Cassie Djerf als Waitress |
| Joe Siriani als Guy at Table #1 |
| Pat Shea als Guy at Table #2 |
 | Josh Duvendeck als Guy #1 |
 | Chris Cox als Guy #2 |
 | Henry Penzi als Partygoer (Ted's Buddy) |
| Tania Cabrera als Girl at Party |
 | Colton Shires als Teenage John |
| Viera Andrea Moya als Plymouth PR Worker |
| Heajee Kim als Club Girl |
| Lydia Hannibal als Ellen |
| Shawn Thornton als Crazy Guy |
 | Eric Weinstein als Stagehand |
| Danny Smith als Waiter |
| Mike Nikitas als Newscaster |
 | Robin Hamilton als Female Newscaster |
 | Mike Henry als Southern Newscaster |
| Johnny Lee Davenport als Husband |
 | Chris Everett als Wife |
 | Tara Strong als Bellybutton (voice) (uncredited) |
 | Ted Danson als Ted Danson (uncredited) |
 | Ryan Reynolds als Jared (uncredited) |
 | Olivia Jordan als Party Guest (uncredited) |
 | Alexandra Creteau als Club Patron (uncredited) |
| Emmalyn Anderson als Concert Attendee (uncredited) |
 | John Franchi als Tourist / Pedestrian (uncredited) |
 | Ronald Boone als Liberty Mechanic (uncredited) |
| Stephen J. Lineweaver | Production Design |
| Jason Clark | Producer |
| Walter Murphy | Original Music Composer |
| Jeff Murrell | Gaffer |
| Jeff Freeman | Editor |
| Seth MacFarlane | Story |
| E. David Cosier | Art Direction |
| Kyra Friedman Curcio | Set Decoration |
| Seth MacFarlane | Producer |
| Michael Barrett | Director of Photography |
| Seth MacFarlane | Director |
| John Jacobs | Producer |
| Seth MacFarlane | Screenplay |
| Debra McGuire | Costume Design |
| Alec Sulkin | Screenplay |
| Sheila Jaffe | Casting |
| Wellesley Wild | Screenplay |
| Avner Engel | Animation |
| Jimmy Almeida | Animation |
| Nicholas Tripodi | Animation |
| Louis Jones | Animation |
| Jill Brown | Stunts |
| Bryce Burke | Stunts |
| Sean Graham | Stunts |
| Christopher Mullins | Animation |
| Shane Hall | Animation |
| Nathan Ross | Animation |
| Eddie Braun | Stunts |
| Steve Budd | Animation |
| Victoria Livingstone | Animation |
| Christel Pougeoise | Animation |
| Johnny Turco | Animation |
| Shaun Freeman | Animation |
| David Good | Animation |
| Kristopher Medina | Stunts |
| Daniel Fotheringham | Animation |
| Tom Gibbons | Animation |
| Andy Hass | Animation |
| Crystal Dalman | Stunts |
| Ian Mclaughlin | Stunts |
| Aaron Clement | Animation |
| Jess Morris | Animation |
| Amita Sahgal | Animation |
| Larry White | Animation |
| Brian Mendenhall | Animation |
| Eddie Yansick | Stunts |
| Jonathan Lyons | Animation |
| Danny Southard | Animation |
| Phil Culotta | Stunts |
| Bill Young | Stunts |
| Kevin Scott | Stunts |
| Andrea Castagnoli | Animation |
| Trevor Hunter | Animation |
| Loïc Miermont | Animation |
| William R. Wright | Animation |
| Daniel Leavitt | Stunts |
| Neil Kennedy | Animation |
| Heath Pagram | Animation |
| Mark Powers | Animation |
| Mickey Giacomazzi | Stunts |
| Scott Slater | Animation |
| Dana Reed | Stunts |
| Scott Rogers | Stunt Coordinator |
| Brandon Sebek | Stunts |
| Spike Silver | Stunts |
| Aaron Clement | Animation |
| Ben Forster | Animation |
| Miles Southan | Animation |
| Paul Marini | Stunts |
| Ryan Bradley | Animation |
| Jon Mone | Executive Producer |
| Moira Marquis | Music Editor |
| Murray Adler | Music Supervisor |
| Gregory W. Smith | Steadicam Operator |
| Stan Jones | Music Editor |
| Jaimie Trueblood | Still Photographer |
| Claire Folger | Still Photographer |
| Todd Sheidenberger | Orchestrator |
| Regis Harrington | Stunts |
| Curt Schulkey | Dialogue Editor |
| Vanessa Lapato | Dialogue Editor |
| Ralph Osborn | Dialogue Editor |
| Anthony 'Ace' Thomas | Choreographer |
| Q Fortier | Systems Administrators & Support |
| Tom Williams | Sound Mixer |
| Blair Clark | Visual Effects Supervisor |
| Scott Stuber | Producer |
| Mark Kamine | Unit Production Manager |
| Eric Heffron | First Assistant Director |
| Mark Kamine | Co-Producer |
| Eric Heffron | Co-Producer |
| Chris Carnes | Set Decoration |
| Jill Brown | Stunt Double |
| Luci Romberg | Stunts |
| Richard Oswald | Second Assistant Director |
| Scott Rogers | Second Unit Director |
| Bryan Felty | Set Designer |
| Timothy Lewis | Set Dresser |
| John Pungitore | Set Dresser |
| Timothy Rowcroft | Set Dresser |
| Kenneth Sayers | Set Dresser |
| Cleo Wang | Set Dresser |
| Johnny Villanueva | Hair Department Head |
| Ann Masterson | Makeup Department Head |
| Tracey Levy | Makeup Artist |
| Cheryl Daniels | Key Hair Stylist |
| Bruce Barris | Sound Effects Editor |
| Anna Behlmer | Sound Re-Recording Mixer |
| Michael Dressel | Foley Editor |
| Jimmy Duyon | Sound Mixer |
| Pamela Kahn | Foley Artist |
| Elliott Koretz | Sound Supervisor |
| Elliott Koretz | Sound Designer |
| Mike Marino | Foley Mixer |
| Dean Minnerly | Foley Artist |
| Eric A. Norris | Sound Effects Editor |
| Terry Porter | Sound Re-Recording Mixer |
| Brittany Burke | Casting Associate |
